Who’s Having The Talk?
HAVE YOU HEARD THEY’RE TEACHING BABIES ABOUT BALL GAGS, PRETEENS ABOUT POPPERS, TODDLERS ABOUT TRANS.
You may have heard the rhetoric around sex education — claims that it’s being shoved in people’s faces or pushed too early on. It may sound alarming that we are teaching children who are primary school or kindergarten age about sex. It might be concerning that we are teaching teenagers about how to safely practise sex, what to and what not to do. It seems natural to start jumping to conclusions of inappropriate behaviours, teen pregnancy, the spread of STDs and sexual assaults.
I received Sex-ed from the Australian schooling system in grade 8 like 66% of Australians. Spilt into genders we got taught safe sex between a man and a woman. I remember a shocking video with a naked couple and a cartoon of sperm trying to make it to the egg, not exactly how I pictured my first porn watch party would go. We learnt about what parts of us will grow hair or in size and told to wear togs to bed to stop those wet dreams.
What a time.
Research from Act for Kids in 2022 found that 79% of Australians think their sex education did not prepare them for real-life experiences. With 66% of us being sexually active during our schooling years.
As much as we joke about how traumatising/awful/awkward/giggly our sex education was, the system as it is is failing us. We are leaving out conversations around consent, gender-based violence, and queer relationships, that should be delivered by educated professionals, not the sports teacher.
The problem is that for people whose only experience of sex ed is what’s in the current curriculum, telling them that you want to teach sex ed to young children, sounds a bit scary.
Raisingchildren.net, a government-supported resource aimed at families, scaffolds sex ed for 0 to 8 years highlights the use of correct names for body parts, talks about understanding consent, and open honest continuous, conversation.
Here’s their three-step process for talking about sex:
First, acknowledge that your child might be curious and find out what they already know. For example, ‘Where do you think babies come from?’ or ‘What have you heard about where babies come from?’
Second, correct any misinformation and give the facts. For example, ‘You’re almost right. Babies don’t grow in their mummy’s tummy. They grow in a special place inside the body, called the uterus’.
Third, use the conversation as an opportunity to talk about your thoughts or feelings. For example, ‘Some people want to have a baby when they’re ready. Other people aren’t too sure about having a baby at all’.
The World Health Organisation recommends consistent information from multiple sources such as parents’ teachers and media. Topics covered include but are not limited to, families and relationships, respect, consent and bodily autonomy, anatomy, puberty and menstruation, contraception and pregnancy, and sexually transmitted infections.
We are a bit prudish when it comes to talking about the naughty sides of things. We’d happily make a joke to overcome the collective awkwardness when someone brings up something sexual. Understanding is not enough, we as a community can’t avoid having conversations of; am I doing this wrong? Is this normal? Should it be hurting?
