Glass GazetteSatire

While you were sitting around, I was watching my lectures on 3x speed

By January 18, 2022 No Comments

Man alone at his laptop in the dark.

 

Opinion:

We are not the same.

At the end of every semester, I see the same, sad sight around the University. Plebs who’ve fucked their assessment or their time management to the extent that they’re stressed about study or freaking out about grades.

The thing is, I used to be like you.

I used to zone out during lectures, and wane in attendance as the semester went on. I’ve been on the busy end of uni and it’s not pretty. But that was all before I became speed-pilled.

There comes a time in every student’s life where they have to realise that time is a social construct. I work 60 hours a week in my casual retail job, intern 10 hours a week, sharpen my skills at Rocket League for at least 15 hours, and still have time to balance uni work. So I have no sympathy for the whining and whinging of my peers when it comes to their so called ‘struggles’ with study.

Because really, what’s so hard about pressing the 3x option on your lectures? Oh, I’m sorry – you can’t pay attention to a cumulative 15 hours of content in an unbroken 5 hour sitting? Cry me a river, snowflake. What’s that? Your degree is more dense than my advertising major? Couldn’t care less. It’s more healthy to do a little bit of content every week instead of learning the entire coursework the day before your assessment is due? That’s fine I guess, if you like living your life how the man tells you.

Maybe next time you think about complaining that uni is ‘too hard’, you’ll remember me, doing two weeks of content every year and living the high life.

Until you can join me, have fun losers.

Glass Gazette

Glass Gazette

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