By Tia Read
I did not realise I was gay until later; I would’ve told you sooner if I knew
I am sorry Mary, and mother.
I want to get on my knees in the desert.
Repent, sand filing away
everything soft until I am all
burning bone. Repent, sorry, I am,
mouth full.
Mouth full of desire and adult teeth,
Blood and fluoride in the porcelain,
I am. Dirty dark forgiven
I am. You too, and the trees.
The pendulum of everything, I am.
Sorry, I am. Sorry.
When I held her body I lost my own.
Too young, mouth full of desire, I am.
I wanted too much and to be better for you.
On my knees in the desert. Mouth
Full of dessert, and the sick feeling begins.
I am, sorry. I am.
