By J.A. Lightfoot
CONTENT WARNING – Graphic Imagery
They call him Sightless Bob. The call him Sightless because he has no eyes, and they call him Bob because of the old joke.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a pool?
Sightless Bob had arms, but he cut them off. His greatest love was a person so special. He loved them with all his heart, and he held them, trying to protect them from all outside harm and bathe them in his love. Sightless Bob once squeezed too tight, however, and they were hurt. He didn’t mean to hurt them, for he did not even realise until it was too late. In time, they healed, and said it was nothing to stress over. But Sightless Bob despised what his arms had done. He could not forgive them, so he cut them off and burned them, so that they may never harm his love again.
Sightless Bob had legs, but he crushed them into dust. His greatest love would sometimes need help with tasks, and Sightless Bob would walk everywhere to try and help. Sightless Bob had no arms, however, and his love told him that he was not helpful enough and he was only really getting in their way. They didn’t mind most of the time, but Sightless Bob was ashamed of his legs, taking him to places that he wasn’t wanted or needed. He couldn’t forgive them, so he had an anvil dropped on them, and his legs were gone.
Sightless Bob once had eyes, but he gouged them out. He once used them to look out for his great love, who he loved more than himself. He would watch them as much as he could, in hopes that this would keep any more distain from entering their life. Yet, Sightless Bob could not move, for he no longer had his legs. He ended up seeing what they did not want him to see. Sightless Bob couldn’t have helped it, for he could not move an inch. Nevertheless, he now despised his eyes for looking, and carved them out with a rock on the ground.
Sightless Bob once had a heart, but he pulled it out with his teeth, and died. Though Sightless Bob was a gruesome sight, there were a few foolish enough to love him, and they loved him for his great big heart. Sightless Bob’s love did not love him though, and it filled his heart with anguish and misery. Each heartbeat felt like a thousand rusty nails driven into his skin. Without eyes or legs or arms to pump blood to, Sightless Bob’s heart beat too loud and strong. It made the people he loved and the people he loved shake, and Sightless Bob knew that soon it would shatter them. So, Sightless Bob bit into his own chest, and devoured his heart. Finally it stopped, and Sightless Bob died. Once again, he made people miserable, and they cried and mourned the loss of his wretched life.
This story is a happy one, though. After all Sightless Bob became all that he knew he should be. A Joke.
What do you call a man with no arms, eyes or legs, floating in a pool of blood?