Accreditation started, but once again, nothing was likely to happen. Experts have said that this might be the most productive student union conference of all time. Student media dutifully organised to view the peanut gallery, as the conference room began to fill. If you were hoping for any movement on policy, then you’re going to be disappointed—Aiden O’Rourke (Unity), the General Secretary, declared that quorum had not been reached and that everyone should leave in a safe and orderly manner. In response, a member of SAlt stood and yelled, “Conference has been held up because of—” before being immediately cut off by half of the room. Jeers and shouts scattered across the conference floor in headache-inducing waves which killed any real chance of a resolution occurring anytime soon.
Lunch was a selection of salad rolls and cakes that varied from gluten-free to vegan. SAlt’s reason for denying quorum was due to an alleged deal that took place between all of the Labor factions to lock them out of executive positions. It looked like conference would once again not take place that day. The orange juice ran out quickly, Coca Coca-Cola remained stocked due to the boycott. Student media’s resident celiac, Emily Macfarlane, from Farrago gave the gluten-free options 11/10 and said that the kitchen staff went “above and beyond to make gluten-free options yummy and accessible.” In other news, the ducks were cool.
Student media was cautioned to stop filming by the event organisers. It is unclear who or how many people have complained, but most instances of filming—unless given explicit consent by those being filmed, or wide shots on the conference floor—have now been prohibited. This essentially castrated student media’s ability to provide live video coverage outside of conference proceedings. There was an undeniable air of hostility at Federation University, as none of the major factions were any closer to conceding. The sole bipartisan sentiment shared by most factions is that student media can go fuck themselves.
As the day continued there was still no deal. News from the ground indicated that none of the major parties were willing to cede ground; another well-intentioned attempt at accreditation fell through shortly after dinner. An alternate explanation for the stalemate is that the delegates might’ve realised they can simply get drunk on student dollars without having to do a day of work. Faction members have been spotted playing cricket, arguing over movie nights, and making their respective factional punch. The agenda for this evening indicated that conference would be working through Chapter 6, which covers motions for important women’s issues. In reality, delegates from all factions were seen piling into their accommodation with cases of grog, while the conference floor lay silent.
