By Kate Todman
Dark nights.
The hum of my fan.
My sheets suffocate me.
I choke on nothing.
The door creaks open.
I am not alone anymore.
It enters, unwelcome.
It comes often.
Hovers above me.
Presses on my chest.
I can’t breathe.
When I’m alone, it comes back.
When I pretend it isn’t there,
it builds a wall.
I’m stuck behind it.
I can’t move forward.
I get too close to the electric fence-
and freeze.
Left behind in time,
held hostage to a single night in October, years ago.
I couldn’t have known,
the ghost would haunt me forever.
Plague my soul.
Plague my love.
I can even see it sometimes-
on the train,
in my bed,
in the mirror,
in my head.
But I know it’s always there.
It wasn’t my fault.
The sun sets, but the shadow follows.
It always will.
And I will always look over my shoulder.
