Welcome Glassies, to your guide to life. This series takes a deep dive into all your pressing need-to-knows (how to be a student politician, how to do the Bookfest like a pro, and how to survive toxic workplaces) and offers comprehensive guides so that you can live your Best Glassie Life™.
This edition is A Glassie’s Guide to living in a sharehouse.
At some point in our lives, most of us will live in a sharehouse. It’s simply the reality of being a young person in 2024. On the plus side, it’s cheaper than renting on your own. On the downside, you might end up with a housemate (or two) who thinks cleaning is an optional activity.
A sharehouse is not the ideal living situation. After all, it usually entails living in a house full of randoms who you have found on the internet. If you’re lucky, you live with friends. But then you have to deal with the knowledge that you might not be friends by the time the lease ends.
So, here are my top tips for living in a sharehouse, without driving your housemates (or yourself) crazy.
Do – Pay your way
We are starting off with a simple one – pay your own bills, on time. Now, it might seem like an obvious thing to say, but you would be surprised how many people don’t give a second thought to expecting their housemates, who are often their friends, to ‘help them out, just this one time’. And once you do, they will expect it again and again. This is why it’s so important to set clear and defined house rules, even if you are rooming with your bestie. Actually, especially when you are rooming with your bestie.
Whether it’s about paying the rent by a specific date, taking turns to buy toilet paper, or making sure you transferred that $20 for Uber Eats last night, set some rules and stick to them! If you are forgetful, set up direct debits. If you struggle with budgeting, get ChatGPT to create one for you. Money can destroy even the strongest relationships, so having clear boundaries and expectations about finances right from the start will make things a lot easier.
Do – Treat others as you wish to be treated
It can be hard to feel at home in a sharehouse, particularly if you haven’t lived in one before and you don’t know how to share a space with people who aren’t your relatives. Which is why it can be easy to slip into bad habits that your siblings may have put up with (like not hanging your towel up properly or drinking the last of the milk and not replacing it), but housemates likely will not.
In other words, just be respectful. That means don’t play music so loudly that people can hear it through the walls, no getting pets without extensive discussion with everyone you live with (and express permission from your landlord), and no taking over the fridge or pantry. It’s important to remember that this is not just your space – it belongs to other people as well. Unfortunately, that means no two-hour showers or inviting your cousin to sleep on the couch for a week (or two).
Do – Keep your hands off!
Don’t use my towel. Or my sheets. And please for the love of God, don’t use my soap! In fact, don’t buy bars of soap because this is far too risky. Stick to body wash until you have a bathroom of your very own. And even then, you might need to lock up that body wash in a mini safe.
This is one of the most common complaints I hear from my friends, and something I have definitely experienced first-hand. It might start small (no one will notice if I just take one slice of Colby cheese) but pretty soon it can get out of hand (what the hell happened to the brand-new box of Milo cereal I bought yesterday?!). Unless you have come up with a very clear sharing arrangement, it’s best to just ignore everything that you haven’t personally bought. Just pretend it’s invisible and doesn’t exist. But if you really need something, just ask. And respect their answer.
Now, excuse me while I have vivid flashbacks to finding my brand-new baby blue sheets, covered with fake tan, crumpled up on the floor in the bedroom next to mine.
Don’t – Be afraid to have hard conversations
Good communication can solve even the most complicated disputes. Yet, it can be really scary to actually sit down and try to hash out serious issues. It’s much easier to just ignore the problem and hope that it goes away, but this method rarely resolves the underlying issue and typically results in growing resentment.
Here are some tips for having an ‘easy’ hard conversation:
- Be prepared – Know exactly what the problem is, make sure you can explain how it affects you, and be clear about what you would like the outcome to be.
- Choose the right time and place – Accosting someone as they walk in the door after a long day at work will probably result in a poor outcome. Instead, arrange a time that works for everyone involved, and make sure everyone feels comfortable enough to be open and honest.
- Don’t blame, and be solutions focused – Keep the conversation on the problem you would like to solve, and try your best (although this can be really hard sometimes) not to bring up other grievances and pile on. Remember why you are here, and what you want to get out of this conversation.
Having a hard conversation can lead to some amazing outcomes! You will get to know each other on a deeper level, you’ll resolve that nasty tension (which will make your living situation so much nicer), and you will feel like a boss for being mature and handling your problems like a pro.
Don’t – Threaten to burn down the house or stab any of your housemates.
No, I am not joking.
This one will get you kicked out pretty quickly and may even result in some police action. Now, I’m not saying that you can’t have a little freak out every now and then, or let off some steam by engaging in violent (but unharmful) behaviour. I’m just saying, do what the rest of us do and scream into a pillow or aggressively punch plants on a walk around the block. Don’t take it out on the people who sleep in the room next to you, who likely did not deserve to be screamed at for 15 minutes, at full volume, and definitely don’t deserve to feel uncomfortable and unsafe in their own home. Not to mention that it’s a terrible idea to upset the people who have access to your food.
