Creative

Remember- Sophie Farmer

By June 26, 2018 July 29th, 2019 No Comments

By Sophie Farmer

I remember the advent of attraction. 

Her. 

Staring, unable to look away. Jeans and a t-shirt, effortlessly cool. A unicorn in a one-horse town. 

Who was she? 

I remember curiosity and fear and longing and youthful ignorance turning attraction into admiration. 

I remember eager denial. 

My mother catching me staring, asking if I knew her. I didn’t.  

But I wanted to. 

 

I remember the emergence of love. 

Him. 

Tall, tall, tall with hands so soft and a smile so kind.  

An exception to the rule, masculine without intimidation. A lifetime overridden. 

Not my father.  

Not a threat. 

He makes me feel safe. He makes me feel like I’m home. 

Looking at me like I’ll give him the stars.  

He’s looking at me like I exist. 

 

I remember realising, 

Slowly. 

Slipping into it like slipping into a dream. 

A final piece clicking into place. 

The word having meaning, 

The meaning having me. 

Bisexual. 

I remember looking at him, 

Smiling. 

Speaking those words that I was only just discovering. 

Nothing but love. Nothing but acceptance. 

Nothing wrong with me. 

Finally. 

I remember comfort. 

Her, 

Him, 

Both. 

 

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