Glass’ October Movie Regime

In honour of the spooky season, I have decided to watch as many Halloween-esque movies as possible to get into the spirit of the season. The movies I’ve chosen – which are listed below – are a mix of my favourites, plus some I’ve never seen before. Some are scary, but most aren’t (I’m not a horror fan, sue me!), and the majority of them can be found on Netflix in case anyone wants to join me. 

Starting strong with a 90’s cult classic, ‘The Craft’ is about a group of young witches who get caught up in black magic and have to face the consequences. I hadn’t seen this movie since I was a teenager – angsty teenage Jacinta ate that shit up! – and it was better than I remember. There isn’t much I wouldn’t give to be as cool as Fairuza Balk is in this movie, with her pointed black boots and slicked-back hair, except for maybe sell my soul to a primordial god; I’ll leave that to Nancy. 

Before today, I had only ever seen the last hour of ‘The Shining’ – you know, just the fun parts like the bloody hallway, the snowy maze and breaking down doors with axes. It turns out that the other hour and a half of this movie is also pretty good, good enough, in fact, for many fans to consider this movie Stanley Kubrick’s masterpiece. I feel compelled to mention that I have never seen a better performance from a child actor than that of Danny Lloyd, who plays Danny, the extremely serious and creepy 6-year-old child of Wendy (played by Shelly Duvall – the manic pixie dream queen) and Jack Torrance (played by Jack Nicholson – he’s okay). There are adult actors who WISH they could embody a role as perfectly as Danny does. I also feel that ‘The Shining’ gets a bad rap for being completely confusing; what’s with the gay furry, the rotting woman in the bathtub, and Jack Torrance’s doppelgänger who worked at the The Overlook Hotel in the 1920’s? Unfortunately, I’m not a big Stephen King fan, so can’t answer these questions, but who doesn’t love a convoluted and elaborate 80’s horror movie?

A true classic. You can’t help but hear the iconic theme song the second someone mutters the word ‘Ghostbusters’. Yes, it’s tacky, yes, the special effects are bad, yes, Bill Murray plays a semi-charming, completely arrogant dickhead (like he always does). But that’s what we love about it. My friend, Mia, who had never seen the movie before, joined me in watching it, and laughed at all the jokes I’ve gotten used to. It felt good to recruit a new fan.

Everyone knows that a minimal colour palette, stop-motion animation and bug-eyed characters must equal a Tim Burton film. ‘Corpse Bride’ is one of Burton’s many classics, complete with his two favourite actors; Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. Nothing else spells Halloween like this creepy trio. Best watched in the background as you work on assessments – or as you try to come up with a Halloween costume.

First of all, I have to say that this whole inter-town feud between Shadyside and Sunnyvale doesn’t make much sense to me. How are there people even left in Shadyside if they’re constantly killing each other and wanting to leave town? But on the other hand, the soundtrack slaps, if not a little on the nose for a movie set in the 90’s; Radiohead, The Pixies, Nine Inch Nails. Gory as hell and full of the typical horror tropes, this was a solid start to a trilogy.

Oh my god. So much death and violence (I know, I know, it’s a horror movie about serial killers but people are being axed in the head a lot in this movie). We get a little more backstory about the curse on Shadyside as we go back in time, but a lot of things still aren’t adding up. What’s the deal with the living, breathing, flesh pile buried under the town? Why is this old dead witch so hell bent on sowing death and destruction? Guess I’ll have to keep watching to find out.

Vengeful lesbians, Satanic rituals, and intergenerational curses? I can almost forgive the absolutely terrible accents. Spoiler alert, the infamous Sarah Fier, the witch blamed for the curse throughout the trilogy isn’t the villain of the story; it’s actually a cop named Goode (SO ironic), who comes from a long line of Satanic worshippers, who have been killing Shadysiders for centuries to retain their power over the town. Shocking, I know. If you don’t care about historical accuracy and love horror tropes and cliches, then this trilogy is great, bloody fun, and is a book-to-movie adaptation that fans of R. L. Stine’s original novels seem to approve of. Watch this trilogy with some friends, and take a shot every time a character dies (please don’t do that actually – there’s 36 deaths in total).

90’s screen queens Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock play two sisters, who come from a long line of witches who have been cursed to lose any man they fall in love with to an untimely death. For a movie where the main plot is the two sisters covering up the murder of one of their ex-boyfriends, ‘Practical Magic’ is the perfect cozy, rainy afternoon film. There’s just so much to be jealous of in this movie; midnight margaritas, being part of a coven, and that house? I would kill a man (wink wink) for that house.

Sidney Prescott’s mother was brutally raped and murdered one year ago and all of her friends think she should just get over it. The students keep running around the school, making jokes and dressing up as the same killer that murdered their classmates. Two young men decide to become serial killers because they’re obsessed with horror movies. I truly love the way people’s minds worked back in the 90’s. 10/10 no notes.