Glass’ October Movie Regime

In honour of the spooky season, I have decided to watch as many Halloween-esque movies as possible to get into the spirit of the season. The movies I’ve chosen – which are listed below – are a mix of my favourites, plus some I’ve never seen before. Some are scary, but most aren’t (I’m not a horror fan, sue me!), and the majority of them can be found on Netflix in case anyone wants to join me. 

Starting strong with a 90’s cult classic, ‘The Craft’ is about a group of young witches who get caught up in black magic and have to face the consequences. I hadn’t seen this movie since I was a teenager – angsty teenage Jacinta ate that shit up! – and it was better than I remember. There isn’t much I wouldn’t give to be as cool as Fairuza Balk is in this movie, with her pointed black boots and slicked-back hair, except for maybe sell my soul to a primordial god; I’ll leave that to Nancy. 

Before today, I had only ever seen the last hour of ‘The Shining’ – you know, just the fun parts like the bloody hallway, the snowy maze and breaking down doors with axes. It turns out that the other hour and a half of this movie is also pretty good, good enough, in fact, for many fans to consider this movie Stanley Kubrick’s masterpiece. I feel compelled to mention that I have never seen a better performance from a child actor than that of Danny Lloyd, who plays Danny, the extremely serious and creepy 6-year-old child of Wendy (played by Shelly Duvall – the manic pixie dream queen) and Jack Torrance (played by Jack Nicholson – he’s okay). There are adult actors who WISH they could embody a role as perfectly as Danny does. I also feel that ‘The Shining’ gets a bad rap for being completely confusing; what’s with the gay furry, the rotting woman in the bathtub, and Jack Torrance’s doppelgänger who worked at the The Overlook Hotel in the 1920’s? Unfortunately, I’m not a big Stephen King fan, so can’t answer these questions, but who doesn’t love a convoluted and elaborate 80’s horror movie?

A true classic. You can’t help but hear the iconic theme song the second someone mutters the word ‘Ghostbusters’. Yes, it’s tacky, yes, the special effects are bad, yes, Bill Murray plays a semi-charming, completely arrogant dickhead (like he always does). But that’s what we love about it. My friend, Mia, who had never seen the movie before, joined me in watching it, and laughed at all the jokes I’ve gotten used to. It felt good to recruit a new fan.

Everyone knows that a minimal colour palette, stop-motion animation and bug-eyed characters must equal a Tim Burton film. ‘Corpse Bride’ is one of Burton’s many classics, complete with his two favourite actors; Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter. Nothing else spells Halloween like this creepy trio. Best watched in the background as you work on assessments – or as you try to come up with a Halloween costume.

First of all, I have to say that this whole inter-town feud between Shadyside and Sunnyvale doesn’t make much sense to me. How are there people even left in Shadyside if they’re constantly killing each other and wanting to leave town? But on the other hand, the soundtrack slaps, if not a little on the nose for a movie set in the 90’s; Radiohead, The Pixies, Nine Inch Nails. Gory as hell and full of the typical horror tropes, this was a solid start to a trilogy.

Oh my god. So much death and violence (I know, I know, it’s a horror movie about serial killers but people are being axed in the head a lot in this movie). We get a little more backstory about the curse on Shadyside as we go back in time, but a lot of things still aren’t adding up. What’s the deal with the living, breathing, flesh pile buried under the town? Why is this old dead witch so hell bent on sowing death and destruction? Guess I’ll have to keep watching to find out.

Vengeful lesbians, Satanic rituals, and intergenerational curses? I can almost forgive the absolutely terrible accents. Spoiler alert, the infamous Sarah Fier, the witch blamed for the curse throughout the trilogy isn’t the villain of the story; it’s actually a cop named Goode (SO ironic), who comes from a long line of Satanic worshippers, who have been killing Shadysiders for centuries to retain their power over the town. Shocking, I know. If you don’t care about historical accuracy and love horror tropes and cliches, then this trilogy is great, bloody fun, and is a book-to-movie adaptation that fans of R. L. Stine’s original novels seem to approve of. Watch this trilogy with some friends, and take a shot every time a character dies (please don’t do that actually – there’s 36 deaths in total).

90’s screen queens Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock play two sisters, who come from a long line of witches who have been cursed to lose any man they fall in love with to an untimely death. For a movie where the main plot is the two sisters covering up the murder of one of their ex-boyfriends, ‘Practical Magic’ is the perfect cozy, rainy afternoon film. There’s just so much to be jealous of in this movie; midnight margaritas, being part of a coven, and that house? I would kill a man (wink wink) for that house.

Sidney Prescott’s mother was brutally raped and murdered one year ago and all of her friends think she should just get over it. The students keep running around the school, making jokes and dressing up as the same killer that murdered their classmates. Two young men decide to become serial killers because they’re obsessed with horror movies. I truly love the way people’s minds worked back in the 90’s. 10/10 no notes.

This movie was responsible for sparking my interest in the horror genre when I first watched it at 13 years old. The movie is old enough to not be scary, but creepy enough to intrigue. As one of the earliest slasher films, Alfred Hitchcock made history with this movie, which is often ranked as one of the best movies of all times. Definitely a must watch if you haven’t seen it yet, and if you have already, follow it up with TV series ‘Bates Motel’, to learn the how and why of Norman Bates’ obsession with dressing up as his dead mother and killing young women.

A horned black goat asks you in the sexiest voice you’ve ever heard if you want to eat butter and see the world. All you have to do is take off your clothes and sign his book. Also he just killed your entire family. Look, I know you are not typically supposed to take the side of the Devil, but ‘The Witch’ makes a compelling point. Based on New England folktales, this movie tells the story of a devoutly Puritan family being banished from their village, and settling in the woods. The youngest child, a baby, disappears almost immediately. Another child is abducted and returned days later, but he isn’t the same. Thomasin, the eldest child, has been blamed by her own family for the deaths and disappearance of her siblings, despite being an innocent teenage girl. But no one believes her, no matter what she says, and the rest of her family is gradually killed in various horrifying ways. The real culprit? The family goat, Black Phillip, who is actually the Devil in disguise, and all the witches who have signed his book and now do his bidding. The movie ends with Thomasin becoming one of Black Phillip’s witches, and dancing naked in the woods around a bonfire with the same witches who helped kill her family. I can’t help but love a female protagonist who, after bearing the brunt of the blame for everything going wrong, gives in and becomes the very thing she has been accused of being. 

it just wouldn’t be a Halloween movie marathon without a Guillermo Del Toro movie. Now that is a guy who understands fucked up horror in a way that no one else does. I watched this movie for the first time during the torrential floods of 2022 – and had to evacuate my apartment halfway through – and the only thing I really remembered about it was that you get to see Tom Hiddleston’s butt. On rewatching though, I realised this a classic gothic horror tale; a young woman finds herself married to a strange man and moves into his strange old house, and of course the place is haunted. This movie truly has it all – ghosts, murder, and incest. What more could you ask for?

Fellow Glass Editor Ben joined me in rewatching this old witchy classic. Jack Nicholson plays a ‘horny little devil’ accidentally summoned to the small town of Eastwick by unknowing witches, played by Cher, Susan Sarandon and Michelle Pfeiffer. The four quickly form a raunchy, polyamorous, carefree troupe, stirring up scandals all over town. When a local religious fanatic – and the group’s biggest hater and Ben’s favourite character – dies unexpectedly, the three women find out they’re all pregnant with devil spawn. They band together and banish him from their town, so they can raise their little devils in peace. Ben’s only criticism for it being a Halloween watch, was that he wished the film leaned more into the witchcraft rather than the girl power (you heard it here first folks, Ben from Glass hates women!)

What can I say about this movie? Firstly, it is absolutely colourless — but can you expect from Tim Burton? Despite the bleak aesthetic of the film, the tone is more silly and gimmicky than serious, despite the plot centring around a vengeful, vicious ghost (played by Christopher Walken – his only lines in the movie are ‘NAHHHHH!!’, ‘WAAHHHHH!’, and ‘RAHHHH!’ by the way) who keeps riding around the small town of Sleepy Hollow on his (also) dead horse, cutting off people’s heads. Johnny Depp plays Ichabod Crane, an at times pathetic and spineless constable (he faints six times during the course of the movie) sent from New York to figure out who is behind the murders. Sleepy Hollow feels like three children’s movies in a trench coat, in that the plot is thin and the characters are simple, but every five minutes someone is being brutally and graphically beheaded. Entertaining, but nothing to write home about. Sorry Tim Burton fans.

I’ve lost the ability to form coherent sentences. The Substance grabs you by the face and throws you around, like Ms. Trunchbull with that little pig-tailed girl in Matilda. After a gripping whirlwind of grotesque closeups, bloody injections, and high gloss horror, you are finally launched, propelled by inertia and disgust, landing with a wet splat on the concrete. You will be nauseated. You will be enthralled. Read my full review of ‘The Substance’ here.

I distinctly remember being freaked the fuck out by this movie as a child. Now watching it as an adult, ten years later, I’ve realised how silly it is, and the fact that the plot is basically just a pun on the word ‘housewife’.

Rosemary has a lot more agency than I would expect in a female protagonist from the 60’s, especially one from a movie that was directed by Roman Polanski. “What are you saying? What about what’s fair to me?!” she screams at her gaslighting, scumbag husband as he tries to convince her she isn’t carrying Satan’s spawn, even though she’s actually being tricked by him and all their neighbours to give birth to the Antichrist.

Rosemary’s husband makes a deal with some local Satanists, promising his new wife’s first born child in exchange for success in his acting career. They’re all in on it – except for Rosemary, who is unknowingly growing the Devil’s child in her uterus. She can’t stop eating raw meat. Her neighbours keep giving her weird smelling gifts and drinks. Evidence of witchcraft keeps popping up, and anyone who suggests Rosemary sees a real doctor ends up dead or in a coma. When she finally does confide in a doctor about her abnormal pain and paranormal suspicions, he delivers her right back into the clutches of her abusers. When Rosemary finally gives birth, they tell her the baby didn’t survive, but then whose crying can she hear through the walls? Eventually, Rosemary’s finds her baby, hidden away by the Satanists, but he doesn’t look right. There’s something wrong with his eyes… Rosemary’s neighbours finally admit what Rosemary has been speculating all along; the real father of her child is the Devil himself, and Rosemary’s baby is the Antichrist.

When will it be my turn to get stranded during a thunderstorm in a gothic castle that is occupied by gay horny aliens that break into song every five minutes? Since I first watched this movie as a pre-teen, I’ve been trying to figure out who’s hotter; Susan Sarandon as Janet, or Tim Curry as Frank-N-Furter? But I think the answer is obviously Tim. Who can say no to that devilish red smile and fish nets? Fun, iconic, and queer, ‘Rocky Horror’ is best watched with a big glass of wine in your sluttiest outfit.

Another Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham-Carter collaboration; it’s a Halloween dream team as old as time. ‘Dark Shadows’ is a fun watch, but I find myself struggling to say much more about it. Johnny Depp falls in love with a woman who looks way too young for him, Chloe Grace Moretz turns into a werewolf, and Helena Bonham Carter dies a gruesome death… or does she?

Once again Sidney Prescott finds herself at the centre of a while bunch of murders. What I want to know is why there seems to be a never ending horde of people that have come to the same conclusion; this innocent teenage girl who has done nothing wrong is the root of all their problems. When it comes to a Scream movie, three things are for certain; there’s going to be an on-the-house character discussion about horror movie culture, Sidney Prescott is going to deliver another bad bitch one-liner, and, of course, Gale Weathers is going to have a fuck ass haircut.

Um, what the fuckkk? I’ve been wanting to watch this movie ever since it came out, but because I am a baby, I just couldn’t bring myself to watch it. So, instead, I read the complete plot of the movie on Wikipedia, which was disturbing enough for me. That was about five years ago. From the moment this movie idea was born, ‘Midsommar’ has been on the list. I knew I had to face my fear, and now I have. All I have to say is, Ari Aster, you are one messed up little man.

If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if your sacrificial virgin isn’t actually a virgin, then this movie is the answer. Apparently, she becomes a demon that feeds on boys to stay strong and beautiful (and of course she’s gay as hell). Jennifer and Needy are two best friends (or more??), whose relationship takes a turn after Jennifer’s transformation leads her to start murdering boys around town. Look, I KNOW murder is wrong, but if Megan Fox was MY girlfriend, I wouldn’t let her little bad habit drive us apart. RIP to Needy, but I’m different.

You can almost believe this movie was actually filmed in the 1960’s; there’s the awkward silences between dialogue, the colour palettes are reminiscent of the technicolor of our grandmother’s favourite movies, and a strange use of sound effects. Elaine is a newly christened witch desperate for love. When her love spells get out of hand — and leave a trail of blood – her desperation gets deadlier. Best watched in your silk robe and that face mask you’ve been saving for a special occasion.

I have an unfailing theory about ‘Labyrinth’, which is that it is only liked by people who watched it as children. Any older than maybe thirteen, and it stops being fun and surreal, and starts being creepy and lame. As an adult, I’ve tried many times to get my friends on board, but about half an hour in, I can feel them giving a very judgemental, nasty side-eye. Jim Henson directs this trippy, 80’s fantasy story, which feels like a mix between an ancient folk tale and a surreal retelling of the Hades and Persephone myth. Oh, and the cast is mainly goblin puppets. David Bowie and Jennifer Connelly are essentially the only humans in this film. If David Bowie gave me poisoned fruit that made me hallucinate about ballroom dancing with him in attempt to make me forget about my kidnapped little brother so that I would stay and rule the Goblin City with him, I think it would actually work. This movie is single-handedly responsible for my lifelong David Bowie fascination; just hearing him say ‘I will be your slave’… yeah that’s potent.

After watching ‘The Shining’, it felt only right to follow it up with the long awaited sequel ‘Doctor Sleep’. This movie goes deeper into what ‘the shining’ actually is, and why Danny was so affected by the Overlook Hotel as a child. We get to see Danny reject, ignore and embrace his powers in this movie, as well as reconnect with the spirit of his dead, murderer father, and all the other ghosts that haunted him as a child.